"I heard it through the grapevine…"

How do you feel when you learn that someone you trusted has been speaking about you behind your back?

This post on X caught my attention because it captures a common perception inside organisations: that decisions about people often happen quietly, in rooms they will never be invited into.

Plot twist: Your manager is having quiet conversations about you in rooms you will never be invited to.  HR just executes the decision.  The villain has always been sitting right next to you

One reason whistleblowing — as a principle of communicating possible wrongdoing — often struggles to align with our natural behaviours is because secrets are the currency and the armour of power.

Secrecy can be used as intentional concealment, and it is often relentlessly rationalist, even though human beings are not. When communication happens in secret, it tends to focus on information about a person or group who are not present. Over time, this shapes power structures in organisations and society: power exercised over another without them being in the room.

There are also subtle social dynamics at play.

When someone discloses negative information about a third party who is not present, recipients and observers may infer that the discloser could just as easily share negative information about them. This can function as an implicit threat.

Implicit — and sometimes explicit — threats can increase influence and power and those who feel threatened may discount their neutrality in order to comply and avoid retribution.

The discloser appears to control something valuable: reputation, information, or access to outcomes.

This is why Courageous Conversations matter.
When people are willing to have open, direct conversations — especially when something difficult needs to be said — secrecy loses its grip. Message credibility increases and shared understanding grows.

Courageous conversations create:
• a shared language
• a shared mindset
• clearer values in action, and ultimately, better outcomes for people, organisations and societies.

Because the alternative is a culture where the most powerful conversations are the ones happening behind closed doors.

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